Sunday, January 20, 2013

The student life

The grass is always greener. I remember when I worked for the bakeshop, one problem was that the schedule was always made a week in advance. So as late as Friday afternoon, I might not know if I had work the next Monday. Oh, and weekends and holidays were not only fair game, but expected. Over the four years that I worked there, I worked every holiday that they were open for at least once. 

When I started working an office job, guaranteed weekends seemed like a wonderful change of pace. Knowing that every week for the foreseeable future was guaranteed the same schedule. That holidays were days I would have off rather than be away from family.

Ultimately, that lost its luster as well. Sure, a predictable schedule was efficient, but I - and to be fair, my bakeshop job was part time (though I did have the luck to have many 30 hour weeks when things were good) - hated the daily 8 am to 5 pm. I felt like I was accomplishing nothing while taking my lunch break, and wished I could get home sooner.

I know that when I get into nursing as a profession, I'll be back to where I was before, with weekends and holidays as fair game, since I plan to be a labor and delivery nurse. I think that the twelve hour shifts will make a difference though. I'm not sure how stable schedules are; I think that might depend on the hospital, but I'm not sure. So that could be something I'll dislike.

But one thing is for certain. I think that nursing will provide challenges in my job that I have not had to face before and I'm looking forward to facing that. (Like dealing with poop and blood. I hear there's a lot of poop and blood in the nursing field). I'm tired of not challenging myself enough. I spent the last two and a half years learning that I am not the kind person who can coast in a job to make a living after spending the three and a half years before that getting an English degree because it was the easiest degree for me to obtain.

I'm ashamed that I did that, and embarrassed because I thought that I had everything figured out when I was seventeen. I remember distinctly taking several AP exams my senior year in high school. I got back top scores on my Biology and Psychology AP exams, and middling scores on my English AP exams. My mom tried to encourage me to consider biology as my major, but I was stubborn.

There is nothing more frustrating than the moment when you realize your stubbornness worked against you.

Well, I suppose it could be finding out in later years that I didn't do anything about my realization. Hopefully, this time, I've got things figured out a little bit better.

Still, I guess, we'll find out in three years!

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