Monday, January 28, 2013

I think my eyes might be broken

For some reason, I wrote up this post awhile back and never got around to publishing it, mostly because I thought it was really unfunny. Then I had Silas and I've posted a lot of not necessarily funny things, so now I guess it's a great time to post this. That's right! Two posts in one hour! Hold on to your britches, everyone!


I was at the local CVS the other day, picking up a mundane prescription (fun fact: if you have mitral valve prolaspe, you have to take antibiotics before dental work!) and while I waited for the prescription to be filled, I paged through a couple of magazines. I realized quickly that my eyes are broken.

For those of you who haven't looked at a woman's fashion magazine in awhile (or ever! It's ok - I understand), these kind of magazines always have a section devoted to finding whatever article of clothing is in season for "your shape." So the magazine I happened to be looking at had a "best summer wedding dress for your shape," but others will have things such as best bikini, best shorts, best jacket, best dress, etc. Cosmo did one on your best jeans. I provided the link so that you can test your eyes if you wish.

If you're playing along at home, you might see that your eyes, too, are probably broken. Because when they show one model wearing pants for "hourglass," I swear on the graves of my ancestors that she looks the exact same as the model who is "pear-shaped." I question that any of those models make it out of the "slender" category. Then Cosmo devotes a few slides to jeans for "plus-size." Because APPARENTLY all plus size women look alike and can easily find their perfect jeans from three choices and it's all of the thin, model-like women who have such differing curves (check out the "boyish-figure" model. Does she really look that different from "pear-shaped"?) that they have to have dozens of slides devoted to their half-inch differences.

Hm. I was hoping that would come out with a lot more humor, but the truth of the matter is - magazines and websites are really bad at actually helping people buy clothes that work best for their bodies. I mean, that's the point of the industry, I guess. To make people feel bad that they don't look like air-brushed pictures.

We don't have cable any more, but when we did, I was a fan of the TLC show "What Not To Wear," mainly because the hosts, Stacy and Clinton, showed how to dress beautifully no matter your shape or size.

Writing Priorities

There are probably a million things I could be doing right now while Silas naps. I could straighten up the kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom, bathroom, or front room. I could sort through old bills and organize them. I could prepare something to eat and eat it right away instead of coming back to it after a half hour or two. I could bathe the puppies, study for any of my three classes, re-braid my hair so that Silas can't pull it, set a load of laundry going or fold what's already clean. I could prepare to go to the bank when he wakes up or even attempt to bring him on errands while he's asleep.

I'm sure many, more organized people than me are laughing at my above list, and that's ok. I've long since accepted that in order to write anything - even for a small little blog to keep my friends and family entertained - I need to make writing a priority. And so that's why, after I put Silas down in his crib, I immediately sat down next to the crib and started typing.

I had a rough few days - Silas has been teething and the whole process is not for the faint of heart. It mostly involves your baby acting somewhat normally, if extra drooly at times, and then bam! - the pain gets to be too much and he starts screaming in pain. Or he will wake up from a nice nap only to tearfully start fussing and desperately trying to chew on his fingers to dull the pain.

And during the night, he would wake up every two hours, crying and nearly inconsolable. It was all I could do to sit there and hold him and breath calmly in hopes that he would pick up on my breathing and relax as well. I would hold him on my shoulder while Smiley would pat his head and we all sat there in the dark room, waiting for Silas to calm down enough to go back to fitful sleep.

Now, last night, I had the misfortune of waking up before Silas did. We went to bed around ten and at about three in the morning - yes, almost five straight hours of sleep! There's hope yet! - I woke up with, to put it delicately, intestinal troubles. There was something so weird about waking up because I needed to and not because Silas was crying or fussing. It's been awhile, is what I'm saying.

Anyhow, Silas did end up waking up within the half hour as I tried to get back to sleep, but I'm almost positive that he then slept until around seven.

The emergence of the first tooth means I need to figure out how to go about brushing a tooth. I guess it will be similar to brushing a small dog's teeth, right? Silas won't want to sit still and will twist and turn his head and make faces? I've read that people wipe down the gums and tooth with a piece of gauze and for the life of me, I can't figure out why I have no problems letting him chew on my finger but the thought of wiping down his gums makes me worry I might hurt his mouth! It's true that no matter what happens, I will ALWAYS have something to worry about!

Yesterday it was 76 degrees out and sunny. It was a surreal experience as my friends and I went for a hike. I was sweating on a hike in January, people. I know that a lot of my readers hail from Florida, but for those who don't, I think we can agree that this is ridiculous. At least pretend to be winter, January. Maybe stick to 60 degrees? I think that's a fair compromise; it'll be warm enough for jeans and a t-shirt and cool enough to stick a sweatshirt over that.

As I am excited about being back at school, I figured I'd end this post on a good note by sharing that I got my grade for my Anatomy and Physiology Lab practical and it was 104/100. Yes, I nailed it down to the bonus questions. I'm pretty excited because I think this indicates that my choice to pursue nursing was finally a good decision. I'm trying to let this excitement wash out the frustration that I didn't do this sooner, and you know what? It's working.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Quick Study Break

Shh.. I'm in the middle of making all my flashcards and I wanted to take a break. As I'm sure everyone on the planet knows, my break also means that my kitchen is cleaner, my floors are vacuumed, and my facebook is updated. I also made some hot chocolate and drank it.

And I'm thinking about making a sandwich.

No, probably an egg.

Or I could vacuum the closet.

(Did I mention how guilty I feel that I'm at home, alone, while Silas's great-grandmother is watching him? I have an early morning class and then an early afternoon class, so it wouldn't make sense to pick him up in between and it makes a lot of sense to use this time to study, uninterrupted. But as we all know, I'm not a sensible person when it comes to babies. I want to spend every moment I can with him - he only is a baby once!)

Ok, ok. I'll have less guilt if I get back to studying.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

My Breastfeeding Post

This post might be somewhat premature. Silas is four and a half months old and I have been exclusively breastfeeding him, and intend to continue to at least one year. Based on what I've read, I expect to continue to two years. So even though I haven't had a ton of experience, I've had enough that I'd like to take the time to share my information and experiences.

That being said, class is dismissed for anyone who doesn't want to talk about breastfeeding! But I do ask, if you know anyone who is thinking about breastfeeding or having troubles, please suggest they read this or check out the resources I'll link at the end.

I'm sure I'll post something less soapbox-y tomorrow or later this week.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Managed to shampoo with shampoo!

You might remember when I was shampooing with conditioner last year during my extreme sleep deprivation. Well, Silas still doesn't sleep through the night, so I'm not doing much better, but at least I can sleep in til about 8 am most days, which helps.

But not quite enough.

This morning, I woke up and played with Silas for a little bit and then laid him down so I could take a quick shower. I got into the shower, thinking about that time (..those times...) I shampooed with conditioner. I smirked, because I'm past that now. I can shampoo with shampoo, like a real person.

Except for the next thing I knew, I was conditioning my hair. Now, this is a step up, because I was using my conditioner as conditioner. It's just that I had forgot to shampoo at all. I had been so busy thinking about it that I guess my brain just accepted that I had already done it. And so in the time between getting my hair wet and reaching for the bottle, I just assumed I was on the conditioner step.

As I stood there, letting the conditioner soak in for a minute or two, I realized that my shower seemed like it was already over even though I had just gotten in. Ever so slowly, it dawned on me that I had not, in fact, shampooed my hair. Whoops!

So I rinsed out the conditioner and started over. But hey, it's a step in the right direction. I'll take it!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The student life

The grass is always greener. I remember when I worked for the bakeshop, one problem was that the schedule was always made a week in advance. So as late as Friday afternoon, I might not know if I had work the next Monday. Oh, and weekends and holidays were not only fair game, but expected. Over the four years that I worked there, I worked every holiday that they were open for at least once. 

When I started working an office job, guaranteed weekends seemed like a wonderful change of pace. Knowing that every week for the foreseeable future was guaranteed the same schedule. That holidays were days I would have off rather than be away from family.

Ultimately, that lost its luster as well. Sure, a predictable schedule was efficient, but I - and to be fair, my bakeshop job was part time (though I did have the luck to have many 30 hour weeks when things were good) - hated the daily 8 am to 5 pm. I felt like I was accomplishing nothing while taking my lunch break, and wished I could get home sooner.

I know that when I get into nursing as a profession, I'll be back to where I was before, with weekends and holidays as fair game, since I plan to be a labor and delivery nurse. I think that the twelve hour shifts will make a difference though. I'm not sure how stable schedules are; I think that might depend on the hospital, but I'm not sure. So that could be something I'll dislike.

But one thing is for certain. I think that nursing will provide challenges in my job that I have not had to face before and I'm looking forward to facing that. (Like dealing with poop and blood. I hear there's a lot of poop and blood in the nursing field). I'm tired of not challenging myself enough. I spent the last two and a half years learning that I am not the kind person who can coast in a job to make a living after spending the three and a half years before that getting an English degree because it was the easiest degree for me to obtain.

I'm ashamed that I did that, and embarrassed because I thought that I had everything figured out when I was seventeen. I remember distinctly taking several AP exams my senior year in high school. I got back top scores on my Biology and Psychology AP exams, and middling scores on my English AP exams. My mom tried to encourage me to consider biology as my major, but I was stubborn.

There is nothing more frustrating than the moment when you realize your stubbornness worked against you.

Well, I suppose it could be finding out in later years that I didn't do anything about my realization. Hopefully, this time, I've got things figured out a little bit better.

Still, I guess, we'll find out in three years!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Oh boy is it cold!

It has climbed on down into the 40s for the evening and I think that we'll be lucky enough to stay above freezing tonight, but geez weather. I see now that you took my musings to mean "please make it cold and windy!"

That is not what I had intended, but I will say that I enjoyed busting out my old favorite hat tonight on campus. It really made me feel like I was four or five years younger, out facing the world for the first time again. If you're wondering, the hat is a Hello Kitty hat. It has a pink brim and Hello Kitty's face and bow. It is also from the youth section at Target because I have a tiny head.

Did I mention I'm also wearing kid-sized glasses? Yeah, they're High School Musical. (Thankfully you'd never know unless you look on the inside of the arm).

It's not that I cling to kid sizes in an attempt to hold onto my childhood or anything. It's just that I seriously have a tiny head.

Anyhow, being on campus. It's an odd feeling, but I feel great. I love learning, even though a lot of what I'm learning right now is review. But high school chemistry was nearly five.. six, maybe? ... years ago! And while I've taken a couple of biology classes as electives, nothing's gone into as much depth as I'll get to go with Anatomy and Physiology and, of course, later, microbiology.

One of the weirdest changes is responding to a new name. I don't know how many people have experienced this, but growing up, I had a last name that, for what ever reason, people did not pronounce correctly. So I came to expect to correct my teachers and professors on the first day of class. Heck, sometimes "Danielle" is too complicated and I had one occasion in high school gym class where the teacher called me Daniel and mispronounced my last name and I didn't catch it until he was done calling role. (Did I share that story already? I can't remember.)

But now, I have a last name that teachers can pronounce. And so on the first day of classes, all I did was say "here" when my name was called.

It felt like something was missing.

To change trains of thought here briefly, I am pretty excited about the work I've been doing with Silas's sleeping. I've managed to find out that if I slowly, slowly sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," I can get him to go to sleep and - on occasion - go back to sleep. He still is waking up a lot. Typically he'll go down in the crib between 8:30 and 9pm and then it's not unusual for him to half-wake up at 10ish to want to eat. Then back in the crib until 1am, maaaaybe 2am. Then he will wake up at 4 am. And 6am.

Still, the fact is, I have a healthy, super-happy baby, and if he wants to wake up at night, I'm thankful that I am on an easy school schedule this semester so that I can work with him.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'm going to go put on some warm pajamas for bed. 

Weather drop!

Whoops! Shouldn't have talked about the great weather yesterday! Today it is pretty chilly at 53 degrees. And yes, I know that's STILL ridiculous to many of the people I know, but I think everyone can agree it sucks when the high drops thirty degrees in two days. I, like most people, do best when the temperatures go down slowly. This? What's happening here today? I'm not doing so good with it!

Still, I acknowledge that I can go outside with a hoodie and probably flip flops still, so I'm not going to complain too much. But dang. My old bones are aching.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Uh, hello warm weather

On the one hand, it's January and I'm wearing shorts and a tank top.

On the other hand, I'm over a thousand miles away from my mom, dad and siblings. I originally was going to write "my family" but realized that's not true. My family is right here with me; my husband and Silas. But it doesn't make the pain any less real when I miss where I came from.

But seriously. Tank top and shorts. I went outside wearing this outfit and sandals and did not instantly freeze to death or catch frostbite. It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that it is January. When my family visited here for new years, we had a few days in the low 50s. My mom bought me two sweaters for when the weather would get a little colder, as it does on occasion. The weather retaliated with this.

The obvious pros include the increased comfort level of being able to have the windows open - the windows open in January! - and not having to wear all sorts of sweatshirts and blankets. The downside is the fact that I'm still getting bit by mosquitoes in January.

It's not that I want to use our heater. It's just that I'm terrified this means the summer will hit 100 degrees and stay there starting in March or something equally crazy. It's just that I don't know how to process the fact that Silas won't see snow for at least the first year of his life, if not longer.

But, I am enjoying the day in itself. I am reveling in my shorts and tank top, and I'll let the weather related problems be an issue for future Dani.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Still Loving Life!

I'm not sure how well blogging next to a sleeping baby will work out. Silas seems to start and fidget a lot when I first start typing. Once I get going, he's ok. But if I pause to think about what I might want to write next, he jumps again. That is not conducive to a happy baby!

But as my second week of classes starts, I'm still in quite a good mood overall. I think it's important to include overall, because last night I had one of those "I want to punch everything" moments. I'm still working on Silas sleeping in the crib at nights. Last night, I felt pretty good about the crib transition. I had done our small bedtime routine and put Silas in the crib. He had started fussing hardcore, thrashing his arms and legs, breaking the first two swaddles I tried. But on the third time I got his arms wrapped up nice and comfy to his body, and instantly, he was out.

So he went down in the crib and slept there for, I'll be honest, I don't remember. I think it was about two hours. All I know is that later that night, at about three, he woke up again next to me in bed, and when his fussing turned into crying, I fed him.

As I lay there, I began to feel incredibly overheated. I kicked off the light blanket I had over my legs, but I still felt warm and annoyed. I felt bad, because I wanted to pull Silas away from me to cool down, but I waited a few minutes until he seemed to have stopped eating. I pulled him away and decided tonight was as good as any to try to return him to the crib.

You might be able to guess what happened next - he didn't want to go back to sleep in his crib. Or, I guess, back to sleep in general. So I held him on my shoulder, trying to soothe him back to sleep. I bounced him lightly in my arms as I walked up and down the room. Twenty minutes of this provided no sleeping baby, so I checked to see if he was still hungry. He ate for awhile, and fell asleep in my arms.

Again, I tried to put him down in the crib and again he cried. I still felt oppressively warm, although the thermometer in our room stated it was only 71 degrees. I also felt aggressively aware of all of the light in our room. Since we moved our computers into our room, there are all sorts of little LED lights that I barely notice as I'm falling asleep. But when I'm woken up by a crying baby in the middle of what seems to be a heat flash? Oh, I was ready to sledgehammer everything in our room.

Smiley woke up during all of this, and asked why I wasn't just letting Silas sleep with us so he'd go back to sleep and I tried to explain that I felt like my skin was crawling from heat. I should mention he was wrapped up in our comforter, and Silas's skin was cool to the touch except for where he was pressed up against me. But Smiley did have to go to work tomorrow, so in the interest of a happy family, I hopped back up onto the bed with Silas.

Silas promptly went back to sleep and I lay there in the dark. I wanted to use my phone, but I knew the glare of the screen would wake Silas back up, so I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing. Of course, I could only think of how warm I felt. After an hour and a half of this, Silas woke up yet again.

I keep thinking during the days when Silas wants to eat every two hours, that he's trying to regulate my milk supply to produce more milk during the daytime hours so that he can sleep longer at night. (Babies are surprisingly great at knowing how much food they eat in a twenty four hour period and will wake up during the night accordingly if they miss out on ounces during the day) But then I think that Silas says "eff sleep. I could just grow instead" and continues to want to eat every two hours at night too.

I mean, I'm not even that upset about it. I'm kind of thrilled that I've been able to be his sole source of nutrition. It's like everything fell into place and my body is doing what it should to provide for my baby, and that gives me a sense of accomplishment.

So yes, last night was rough but well within a manageable level. Taking care of a baby full time is a lot like labor. There are moments that are just overwhelmingly stressful and tough, like a contraction, and then in between everything is fine. And the end result is I get to be around a loving and adorable baby!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Let me talk about school

Ok. So I think it's a possibility that I look a little younger than I am. Certainly in a college setting, I wouldn't be surprised if people thought that I was there for the first time (wouldn't be insulted if they realized I wasn't though - I'm not that old!). But I FELT older than ever when I went to my once-a-week lab class yesterday.

It was the first class of the semester for a Thursday only lab. Next week, according to our syllabus, we had a quiz. Therefore, I reasoned I should buy the book and start studying before I got to class, because it was clear the instructor wanted us to start learning right off the bat.

Here's the part where I sound like a cranky old person - I couldn't believe the other student's attitudes! One guy was grumpy because we didn't just show up and go over the syllabus and leave. Others seemed stunned when the teacher started going over the notes very quickly, as though he expected us to have read up in the textbook. (The ever popular question, "will these notes be on the website?" was, of course, asked within two minutes. I'm glad to see that taking notes still hasn't come into fashion yet.)

But my amusement high point of the evening was when we broke into small groups to study a cell model. Thankfully, I have taken biology before and even dissected a fetal pig. Granted, this was all the way back in my dark ages of high school, but it's still fairly review and remember material for me. One of the girls in my group was very talkative and started alternating between trying to point out items on the cell model and talking about how much she did not want to be here.

I don't know if I can do justice to our conversation. You might have had to be there. But I'll do my best.

In essence, between pointing out the ribosomes and wondering where the smooth endoplasmic reticulum was, she explained to us that she actually shouldn't have to take this class, because she had done this material in high school. And that it was ridiculous that we were here, doing this.

She wondered aloud whether or not we needed to know just where the cell parts were, or if we needed to know their function as well. The teacher had provided us with a detailed "need to know" type sheet. It clearly stated we needed to know cell parts and functions. I read that out to the group and her response was, "I don't have time for this."

I'm not sure exactly what that means. Typically, I had always approached classes assuming they were my priorities and that I would have to make time to learn the information presented. Again, apparently I am a dinosaur.

She continued to explain that she had taken this stuff in high school, but failed the class.


Yes, she said. She failed the class but not because she didn't know the material. She failed the class because she got suspended for not showing up to school enough. But it wasn't her fault. Her teacher was the devil.

I kind of made a face, alternating between a "you don't say" sort of nonchalance and a "I think you're a little crazy" when I couldn't control myself.

It just seems insane to me that someone would be here with such a flippant attitude. I'm not saying I believe that every student comes to college to learn; oh, I understand that this is not true. But I don't understand it. I have no way to relate to the words that were coming out of her mouth. She spoke about how last semester was her first semester at college and so she was kind of in a "yay I'm at college" mode and how this semester she was going to do better.

If "I don't have time for this" is her doing better, I can't imagine what last semester was like.

Anyhow, that's my first week back for me. I'm going to go make some flash cards.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

First Week of Classes

Well, this is it. I'm back at school, and it feels odd. I'm confident I will study hard and do well in my classes, but I only have three this semester. If I didn't have baby Silas to take care of, I'd feel like I was a slacker! I've never take so few credit hours - I definitely always felt I did better with at least 15. But the nature of the game is that I have five classes I need as pre-reqs, and two of those classes have to be taken after I pass two of the classes I'm taking this semester.

In the meantime, I'm already loving the extra time I spend with Silas. It's no secret I wished I could be a stay at home mom, but I think that this might be even better; I'm studying to get a great job where I could work part time and still contribute decently to our family income and I can spend more time at home with Silas and our future child(ren).

One thing I noticed already is that I feel calmer. Before, week nights were horrible. I believe I wrote about how I would get home, feed the baby and let out the dogs, clean the bottles and let them dry so I could fill them with my pumped milk and then clean those bottles so I could use them while pumping at work the next day. Between trying to get some quality time in with Silas, making dinner and preparing my lunch for the next day, I felt like I was caught in some sort of rodent-wheel.

And I won't lie - I was happy if I got a shower in every third day. Gross, right? But even then, a shower was a hurried event that cut into my already crappy sleep and I barely found it to be worth it except that I wanted people who saw me to assume that I was at least somewhat getting by. I will say I don't know how people do it. I know that all mothers are different, and that some women are energized by work, but not me.

Do I still get stressed out when Silas seems to cry for no reason at all? Or when he spits up all over me? Of course! But I am just so much happier now. I feel like I can breathe again and it's a wonderful feeling. I hadn't realized how sad and desperate I had felt until now. And yes, things will get tougher once I actually start nursing classes but in the meantime I am thankful for every minute I get with Silas. After all, gosh darn it, he's only going to be a baby once!

Monday, January 7, 2013

One of those days

You know how you know you're having one of those days? It starts by taking an hour to wrap a package to ship, because turns out your baby is somewhat terrified of the sound of packaging tape, and by the time you calm him down and finish taping, it's time for him to eat again. It continues by you nearly getting ran off the road because someone tries to lane change into your car on the way to the UPS store. When you make it to the parking lot, you will have to juggle a baby in a stroller and a large, cumbersome package that you are clearly JUUUST barely holding on to. Don't worry - no one will offer to give you a hand or even open the door to the UPS store. The guys behind the counter will laugh - outright laugh - when they see you using your stroller to kind of prop open the door so that you can get through with the package.

But it won't bother you too much; people have their things to do just the same as you. But then after you send the package and get the baby back into the car, get buckled in yourself and start driving to your next errand, you'll notice that despite it being January, there is somehow a wasp in your car. This is followed by frantically wishing it to go to the window and lowering the window while at the same time desparately hoping that today is not the day you learn if your baby is allergic to wasp bites.

Thankfully the wasp will leave your car without harming either of you and it's off to the pet store and then home. Your baby, who typically loves going to sleep in his car seat, will still be wide awake, way past his nap time. He will proceed to cry loudly for the next hour as you attempt to calm him with rocking, walking and combinations of the two. Finally he will close his eyes and you will see sleep settling on his eyelids - and then the doorbell will ring, followed by a sharp knock and the puppies barking. Your baby's eyes will snap open and the crying and general fussiness will come back with a vengence. While you contemplate installing a sound proof bubble in your living room, you will walk the baby once again until he calms down.

He will calm down - it will just take a little more time - and he will even close his eyes. He will nap. It won't be long because he wound himself up so much, but it will be long enough for you to recount your day in a blog post. He will even wake up while you are writing and, instead of crying, he will look around and see a toy nearby. He will grab the toy and start playing with it, and smiling, and making happy "ah-goo" noises, and suddenly, if you hadn't written everything else down, you would have forgot about it being one of those days as you go on to enjoy a happy evening.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

4 months!

Well, ok, three months and 29 days. But as of tomorrow, Silas will be four months old. It's great to see him become more aware of his surroundings each day.

I know that all babies are different, so I wanted to share what he is like. Silas still eats every two to three hours during the day, and wakes up two to three times at night. I put him to sleep at night around 9:30pm most days, and he wakes up between 7 and 8:30am most mornings to start the day. In between, he tends to wake up around 1:30 to 2:30am, and then every two hours thereafter.

Silas loves to be held and to be walked around. He likes to be held upright and cries when he is put down on his back. The sound of the vacuum cleaner and running water will help sooth him. I can take him and put him on a blanket on the bathroom floor while I shower and he will play with a toy happily during that time. He likes to sit up supported by a pillow and to occasionally "stand" by being supported by someone. During tummy time, he tries to roll over, but can't figure out what to do with his legs. When he's on his back, he tries to roll over, but can't figure out what to do with his arms.

He can take a bottle, so I've heard. He doesn't quite know what to do with them, but if he is calm and sleepy, he takes a bottle well. When he has a bottle, he takes 2-3 ounces of expressed breastmilk. When he nurses, he takes between five to twenty minutes and will eat from one side or both. There is a wide range of normal.

(I'd also like to side note that although I think breastmilk is a great thing to give your baby, I've never once in my life met someone and thought to myself "oh, well, THERE'S a formula fed baby." Nursing is my personal preference and one that I will certainly advocate for, but I'd like to make sure no one thinks I judge if you choose to feed your baby formula. I only judge those who do not feed their baby anything.)

I share these things because I know that anyone with a kid can look at that list and think to themselves, "well, my baby slept through the night at two weeks" or "well, my baby does fine by himself when I need to shower or to put him down" or whatever have you. This list is to let those parents out there who are wondering "well, why doesn't my daughter sleep longer?" or "why does she always want to be held?" that your baby is normal too. I might only have one son, but I have four younger siblings and 36 cousins (more if you count my cousins who now have babies), so my credentials are that I've seen a lot of babies in my lifetime. And they have all been different.

Don't compare your baby to another person's baby. Love your baby for who he is. Know that she is doing what is normal for her. Don't second guess yourself as parents when it comes to milestones, sleeping patterns, growth, whatever. (Caveat: if you are thinking about feeding your baby a pureed hot dog thinned with pop in a bottle, you might want to discuss that with your pediatrician first).

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Blogging from the bedroom!

Huh. That could sound weird, couldn't it?

As I mentioned before though (at least, I think I did. Or I thought about mentioning it and then got distracted by Silas), we've moved our computers into our bedroom to make room in our front room for an eventual nursery. Supposedly it will help me blog because then I can just blog while Silas naps in his crib next to me. We'll see.

You know how sometimes people buy other people gifts, sneakily hoping the other person won't notice that the gift benefits the giver just as much or more than the receiver? Two years ago for Christmas, I got Smiley a monitor. It was a surprise gift and probably the last surprise gift I'll ever give. I was so excited to have kept a present a secret despite it arriving on his day off. He told me never to buy him an electronic without consulting him first. (Electronics are kind of like puppies. You never know how the person receiving one will feel about the gift and in our household, the "big ticket" items like a monitor are meant to last).

Anyhow, once I got over that disappointment, Smiley realized that now he could use both his new monitor and old one and have dual monitors. The desk he was using was too small, so we switched desks. I didn't mind too much; a desk is a desk.

Well, now the monitor "mishap" has come back to me, again.

This Christmas, Smiley's present to himself was a monitor stand. Except when he got around to setting it up and adding the monitors, he realized the one I gifted him had no mounting area. It was unmountable. Yes, this triggered another "see, this is why you should never get me electronics" speech. Trust me, my want to give a surprise gift is perfectly quashed.

So as a solution, I offered up my monitor, which has been with me since my dad made my computer way back when I was going to college. It still works and is pretty decent, if I don't say so myself. Smiley consented to this and said I could use the gifted monitor.

Except that monitor apparently doesn't work with my computer without a new cable. So now I am still unable to use my computer while we wait for a cable to be delivered and in the meantime, I'm blogging off of Smiley's computer on his and mine old monitors while the new monitor sits, blankly, on his old desk next to the crib.

I don't think there's a point to this, or any great metaphor. I just found it amusing and figured someone else might too.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Been awhile

Lots of things have happened since last we talked. We have been hosting my family here for the week, which is wonderful. Silas has never been more loved in his life (admittedly it has been a short life thus far.)

Smiley and I moved our computers into the bedroom to make room in our previous computer room for an eventual nursery/bedroom. Maybe. I'm not sure. I really, really hate lights in the bedroom and adding the computers adds three monitor lights, mouse lights, keyboard lights, etc. Plus we had to bring our modem and router in here to keep our computers hooked up to the internet - more lights. And blinking, flashing lights at that.

Last night was new years eve - happy new years! - and also my last day at work. That meant I was up at 6:30am and I surprised myself by managing to stay up until midnight. I went to bed pretty much right after the clock changed and after Smiley and I shared a few kisses. Silas was great and slept about four hours with me before waking up. Upon waking up at 4am, I noticed that Smiley still hadn't come to bed. I looked out our window and saw that the bonfire was still going. Half asleep, I figured that he was probably chatting with people and I went back to sleep.

Later I woke up and the fire was out and Smiley was sleeping and Silas and I got up and played for a bit until I made pancakes for my family. They were delicious.

Anyhow, now I've got a chair for my computer in our room, so I should get back into the swing of writing while Silas sleeps (plus I can put him in his crib and still be near him for naps, which seems to be a plus.

Happy new years, everyone!