My grandpa ran the Chicago marathon today. He is 68 and it was his first marathon. I can't even contemplate running around the block I live on. To be fair, it's a really, really big block, but even so, it's only just over a mile and a half around.
Presumably, as I am his granddaughter, I should have some of whatever ability it takes to train for and run a marathon, but I am unsure as to how to tap into that. As I have sort of chronicled this week, I have a competitive spirit of sorts but it tends to be more in the moment rather than sustained training for a later pay off.
I also have documented evidence that I tend to shy away from challenges I don't think I can overcome - a good example of that would be that I chose to go to college for an English degree because the thought of going for Biology or Nursing seemed too overwhelming.
In any case, the Chicago Marathon website had a runner tracker page, where I could see throughout the day how my grandpa was doing. It was mind boggling to do so because every time I looked at the updated page, I thought about how much time had passed and how my grandpa had been running every minute of that time. While I was sitting at my computer or making breakfast or grocery shopping - he was running. And running consistent nine minute miles for a sizable portion of the race!
I wish I could say that this caused a movie-like, life-changing epiphany for me about how any thing is possible to accomplish with dedication, but it didn't.
It did, however, cause me to remind myself that what I think I am capable of might be holding me back. I need to be ok with aiming higher and reminding myself that it isn't a straight fall down if I fail, that I have friends and family for support and it's not just me.
That being said, I have made a secret goal for this second week of October. But I can't bring myself to share it just in case I fail.
I'll get there!