Today marks my arbitrary "halfway" point on the pregnancy. Yes, now I am humming "Living on a Prayer" and with a little luck, it's now stuck in your head and what can you do about it? The truth is, I could have secretly passed my halfway point as much as a week ago, or might not have even witnessed it yet. A due date is more like a suggestion and one thing I'm not excited about is the four week period during which it is possible for me to go into labor.
(Well, it's POSSIBLE for me to go into labor at any point, but I'm speaking about a healthy, full term pregnancy.)
One thing that helps to calm me down is to read everything about pregnancy and labor. I think I've read at least 100 birth stories so far and seen two documentaries. Yeah, some of the stuff freaked me out, but in the end, I prefer to know what could happen than to deal with it out of the blue.
For example, if there's any chance that I might need a c-section, I'd rather read about scenarios where that it could happen, and why, and be prepared. Or if there's a chance that I could actually be carrying not a child but a demon overlord from a faraway planet, I like to know what to expect from that too.
All in all, I think that Smiley and I are trying to go along with this pregnancy with a solid dose of humor and the occasional serious talk of "holy crap-cakes, college is expensive and we want to have another kid later on and how will that work out?!"
Now, personally, I feel like I've been showing since about, oh, 10 weeks or so, but my coworkers assure me that they only really noticed it today. I guess I just dress really well? Because let me assure you that underneath my calm exterior of clothing, I am kind of freaking out about how my belly button is moving towards "outtie" status and how I can't wear skirts and pants that used to be a little big on me. I expect that is normal and don't dwell on it for long, but there's something super weird about putting on one of my favorite dresses and realizing that it now hangs and hits all the wrong places.
Oh and also there are the near constant bathroom trips.
I often think about my life in shifts and break things down into whatever unit works best. In this case, it's imagining that I've just dealt with pregnancy for 20 weeks and I have to do that all over again. Except for that kind of bums me out.
And did you know that the first two weeks of pregnancy don't even count? You're not even pregnant, in any way. Science lesson (skip if sperm and eggs bore or disgust you): The first two weeks of pregnancy are added in once the egg meets the sperm and implants, roughly two weeks from your last period. Due dates calculated this way are somewhat arbitrary because contrary to what you might believe, you do not necessarily become pregnant the moment you, uh, introduce sperm to the party. The sperm can actually chill out for up to three days waiting for an egg to be released and then once they meet up, it can take as long as a week more before they implant and begin the pregnancy. Which, I don't know, maybe everyone in the world already knew that, but I didn't. I was really fascinated to learn all of that.
Anyhow, some bad things that have happened include heartburn and an intense craving for steak. Luckily, the steak cravings seem to have subsided for now. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never, ever wanted a stupid hulking piece of meat before. I like cheeseburgers where the bun to toppings to burger ratio is well in favor of the bun and toppings.
Some good things include an overwhelming excitement to be able to have my first child and to watch and experience the difference between how I think I will parent and reality. Tiny clothing is a plus. The fact that our hypothetically other children will have a big brother is also a plus. The fact that, if this baby is anything like his father, I'll have to start hiding all of our electronics lest I want to find them taken apart.
Well that's enough baby rambling for today. Arbitrarily halfway there or not, I do feel like I'm starting on the second half of an experience I'm psyched to be having.