Some will call me crazy and some will understand. There is something so beautiful about being pregnant and having a baby that it occasionally makes me speechless, overwhelmed by emotions stronger than I ever remember feeling. I realize it is like those moments where Silas smiles and becomes so happy that he has to look away or put his head down to deal with the raw emotion of the situation, and I rejoice that I get to feel this sort of intense emotion that perhaps I once felt as a new baby myself.
As Silas grows and begins to regulate his emotions, I wonder when I will stop seeing his raw reactions and start seeing his calculated responses.
I've been taking my pre-requisite classes to eventually become a nurse and then from there, to become a nurse midwife and I know that then I will be able to connect with women who feel as I do about pregnancy and birth and I will be able to help them feel confident in their ability to be pregnant and give birth. I know every woman is different and I don't expect every person to feel like I do! How boring life would be if everyone felt the same! But I do look forward to having a job that will ensure I work with people who feel similarly to me.