Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A True Fruit Cup Story

Once in awhile, I like to try new products. It's not often, because I know many times I will be suckered by flashy marketing and ultimately end up sad and alone with a stockpile of some protein water that does not, in fact, taste exactly like "lightly sweetened filtered water." No, it tastes like you tried to add protein powder to water and then used some artificial sweeteners.

Still, it was my fault. I bought in to the idea; I wanted it to work.

Anyhow, this story is not about that. This is about some fruit cups I bought. I don't know how new they are, exactly. I hope you all will forgive me for not being on the cusp of new grocery items. I don't follow websites dedicated to grocery product release dates and I've never camped overnight in a WalMart waiting for them to stock a brand new item.

These fruit cups looked delicious in every way that cancels out fruit being good for you. The fruit appeared to be suspended in some sort of sugary substance and the cup came with a packet of cinnamon sugar granola that can be sprinkled on top. I grabbed one and, looking to both sides to make sure no one could see my shame, tossed it into the cart.

Well, I put one of those potentially delicious flavor bombs into my lunchbox yesterday, tossed in a spoon and didn't give it a second thought until lunch.

That's because when I went to open it during my lunch, I found myself unable to make the plastic cap budge from the plastic bottom. I tried from every angle of the circular cup until I had red marks on my fingers from trying. I scooted my chair back and looked at my team lead.

"Can you open this for me?" I asked, offering the plastic cup. My face was a shade of pink from embarrassment but I would quickly learn I had more shades to go through.

My team lead laughed at me and took the cup, setting to work on opening it. I remember feeling a tad bit relieved when she, too, could not open the item in question. She looked at me and shook her head.

"Let's take this to our bureau chief."

"No way! He doesn't have time to deal with this sort of stuff," I protested.

But it was too late. She had already gotten up and was around the corner, walking into his office and announcing that she had an unopenable container.

Well, my face turned several shades darker as I watched the bureau chief, AKA the boss of my boss's boss, attempt to open this fruit cup. As he did so, he marveled over how thick and well fitting the plastic components were.

I muttered something about it being a new product and how I bet within a month or two they'll cut back on plastic production to make a flimsier product.

Eventually, he had to take a file to the edges and pry the top of the fruit cup off. Then he put it back on and took it off again, explaining that things like this were interesting to him.

I thanked him many times and backed out of the office.

As for the fruit cup? It was pretty good. But I don't know if it was 'spend 10 minutes of your lunch trying to open' good. Luckily the box came with two, so I'll try again today to see if it was just a fluke.

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