Saturday, November 16, 2013

What Would I Say? Part One

What Would I Say? (if you don't know) analyses your Facebook past and attempts to emulate you, with mixed (and hilarious) results. It's kind of addicting, because for every ten random statuses that make no sense, you end up getting some sort of a gem that tickles your funny bone in odd and different ways. And so you start clicking again. And again.

The website gives you a chance to post the statuses directly to Facebook, but rather than clog up people's newsfeeds, I'm going to share some of my favorites with you here. I think this will be done in multiple parts, because I'm finding some common themes that run through these statuses.

So let's get to it!

Today's Theme Is: Well, I Guess I'd Say That?

Alright, DaniBot, update my status for me:

"And I've had sudden overwhelming urges to nap in a temporary quiet state." -DaniBot

Hmm. Ok. Well, this status isn't a lie; I certainly have had urges to nap due to the fact that Silas still wakes up at least twice a night. But do I really need to be so specific? I guess I have to distinguish from my urges to nap in a permanent quiet state? Maybe I have a subconscious desire to nap in a temporary loud state.

Let's try again. Go for it, DaniBot!

"Driving for 17 hours is as nice as a full night's sleep." - DaniBot

Oh dear. I think DaniBot is just outright mocking me now.

"Silas is excited to play minesweeper and freecell for me." -DaniBot

This has my favorite combination of elements from the What Would I Say experience - it combines perfectly mundane parts of my life in new and exciting ways. Not that Silas is mundane, but I do talk about him a lot. And I also play minesweeper and freecell a lot. But to think that I'd be bragging about how excited Silas is to be playing those games for me? It's like a peek into a very scary and sad future.

"I think my creativity ran away." - DaniBot

Hitting me where it hurts, DaniBot cycled through this potential status update SIX times. Now, let's not focus on how many times I may or may not have pressed the "generate status" button for a moment. (It is literally hundreds, if not thousands, of times.) Let's focus rather on the fact that, given access to all of my thoughts on Facebook, this cold and calculating machine analyzed everything and decided to confirm one of my worst fears.

Then again, rather than come up with my own content, I guess I am relying on a website to generate potential humor for me to talk about. Well played, DaniBot. Well played.

Part Two to follow!

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