Apparently Silas did not go down for an afternoon nap today; I tried to get him to sleep after work for a bit, but as he didn't seem overtired, eventually we played together some and he kicked around on the ground while I organized our computer room some. Finally, he started making this sort of bird call/pterodactyl noise that he makes when he is becoming overtired, and I was able to trick him into sleep by rocking him while nursing him. It's not as easy as it sounds!
Anyhow, he's lying down for who knows how long - my guess is ten minutes. I thought about continuing to organize the room, but who needs an organized room when I could share my thoughts with the world instead? (Like someone who drinks too much one evening, I'll probably regret this in the morning when I stub my toe on the old vacuum cleaner again).
Here's what I've been thinking about: babies give you a natural high. Yes, I'm aware I linked a Cracked.com article instead of, say, a scientific journal, but the point he makes (#4) is true enough. I am getting high as ever off of my beautiful little baby! How else could I continue to wake up two, sometimes three (and yes, still, occasionally four times a night) to tend for my little baby if there wasn't a huge reward in it for me? And that huge reward just happens to come courtesy of my own brain chemistry. Awesome!
So in a nutshell, if you didn't know, breastfeeding and contact with your baby produces oxytocin, which makes you feel good. And I'm guessing that my sensitivity to it is why I feel like having more babies so intensely. (And I'm probably "overdosing" by not only breastfeeding but also having Silas sleep in bed with us). But there is one other reason, and you have to promise not to laugh!
I think my desire to have my children quickly is that I want to be able to be around for grandchildren and great grandchildren. If I've learned anything, it's that I can't expect to have grandkids until maybe thirty years from now, and then that means great grandchildren sixty years from now. In sixty years, I could be dead.
So yes, laugh if you must, but the previous paragraph is truly written with only sincerity. I believe that one of the greatest rewards to being a parent is to watch your children become parents. It's the circle of life type idea; to watch life continue onward through my little family. I have to admit that I've felt this way even before I gave birth, so I can't blame hormones on that! I know that not everyone wants to have children and I'll never force Silas or any other my other hypothetical kids to do something they don't want to, but I sincerely hope that I will at least get to meet some grandchildren, some day.
I have to confess that this entry was not written in ten minutes. About five minutes into writing, Silas woke up. I kept writing for about three more minutes while he decided whether or not he was going to fall back asleep; at the eight minute mark (in total), he started crying, so I went check on him. And, uh, he's waking up again, so I guess I've got to go. This is what I get for him not taking an afternoon nap. (Babies, unlike adults, tend to sleep better the more sleep they get).