Silas's Birth Story

Well, it's just over a month out now, and I still haven't posted anything here as a birth story. I think I'll do that now.

The last few weeks of my pregnancy were the worst part of being pregnant. Though I don't recall it quite as clearly as when I was there, I remember texting my mom almost daily to complain about pain. I had sciatic pain and my right leg would often be the recipient of the shooting pains while I was sitting down.

I was also uncomfortable in general. Sitting, standing and sleeping took a special effort and walking had dissolved into a light shamble. Ok, fine, it was a heavy shamble.

However, as September rounded the corner and me with a due date of 9/24/12, I knew I had to be patient in waiting for my little baby.

At Smiley's workplace, his coworkers were telling him to expect me to go late; as a general rule, first time moms tend to give birth at 41w1d or something along those lines. Don't quote me. But the important part is, they go late. I think we both started mentally psyching ourselves up for that.

At my workplace, my coworkers were convinced that I would go early. Coworkers I hadn't known well would stop and ask if I were alright as I tried gamely to shamble from desk to bathroom and back again several times a day. I assured everyone they would be seeing me until September 24th or longer, if needed. They laughed.

In Which I Tell My Husband What Labor Might Be Like

My third trimester began this week on Monday, so it's kind of getting to the point where I have to acknowledge that at some point in the now not-too-distant future, a baby will be theoretically setting off the chain reaction of hormones in my body needed to start labor.

I asked Smiley if he's prepared himself for my labor.

Of course, he looks at me with that constant grin on his face. "Well, yeah, I'll be there for you," he says.

I made a face back at him. "Well let me give you an overview of what to expect."

We're sitting at our computers in our aptly named computer room. He's in between rounds of Tribes Ascension and I'm stalling before I go to the kitchen to make something to eat.

"There's basically three stages to labor according to the internet," I said. I knew I had to keep it short and simple. "In the first stage, I'll maybe have noticeable contractions but theoretically be able to walk and talk through them without too much pain. Then there's the second stage, which I guess is active labor. It'll be harder to deal with contractions and there might be angry words on my part.

"Finally, the third stage is transition. If I understand what I've read correctly, at this point I will be in quite a bit of pain, angry, and possibly delirious depending on whether or not I get to eat or drink anything during labor. Your job will be to pat me on the head and tell me I'm doing a good job and my job will be to rip your arm off for touching me. As I understand it, the arm gets replaced some time after the delivery of the baby."

So as any casual observer can see, my husband and I are fully set to handle this childbirth thing.

But I'll admit to still being a little nervous.