Almost a Year!

Well it's taken me almost a year, but according to my stats page, I have gotten just over 2,000 hits to my blog. While that's a heck of a lot more hits than "zero," I won't pretend to think I'm on my way to total blogger legitimacy yet.

But soon. Maybe.

As you might recall, I predicted my lack of internet fame with AMAZING accuracy. Let's go back and check out if what was holding me back last year is still holding me back!

Ok, let's check out reason number one. Dani from the past writes:

1. I am absolutely horrible at staying up late. I mean, I often go to bed around 10 each night, except on special occasions, and then I go to sleep as late as 11! I think there is a connection between being a night owl and having the creativity needed to be a famous blogger. I sadly do not seem to have this connection.

Dani from the future says:

My bedtime is one of the most consistent elements in my entire life. I still go to bed around 10 each night, so I have not yet developed that "night owl" element that I seem to think is holding me back. However, there is hope! I will soon (well, in about two months) have a potentially constantly-squalling little spawn to help shake up my bedtime routine in a way that is practically guaranteed to make me expel creativity from all of my pores!

Sounds good. Dani from the past has another reason why I am not famous. Let's check it out:

2. I am good at many things but not excellent at one thing. Famous bloggers? They got there because they can do something (or a couple somethings) really dang well. I can sew a little; I can write and draw a little; I can take care of animals reasonably well; I can bake a tasty cake - but I don't excel at any of these, so while I'm sure I can offer a tip or two, I don't have the expertise to really shine amidst those who do.

Dani from the future says:

Yeah, still true. In the past year, I think the only thing I've truly excelled at is being pregnant. According to the internet and other trusted sources, I think I'm doing pretty dang good on the "not being a sick, throwing-up hormonal mess for nine months" front. However, I'm not sure how this is a marketable skill besides sparing my husband from having to deal with large quantities of puke.

Oh wait, past Dani has something else to say:

2.1 (As a counter point - I do excel at one thing: writing really, really long sentences because I'm a huge fan of semi colons and I hate using periods. But I'm not sure that there's an audience for people who like writing really long sentences for fun.)

Hm. Well. I mean, I do still like really long sentences. But I'm still pretty sure there's no audience for that. Tell me more, past Dani!

3. I don't have a good camera. Famous bloggers tend to have pictures on their blog. I'm either going to have to learn to draw better or find a new cheap camera, because my current one only takes clear pictures at noon with all of the lights on and even then, preferably with the object I want to take a picture of on fire.

Oh boy. Not only have I stopped drawing pictures almost completely for my blog, I've actually received a camera - as a gift all the way back during CHRISTMAS - and I don't think I've used it to post a picture yet. Well, this is awkward, because this is the one point that I have actively done worse in. Definitely not a recipe for internet success.


I do have a new excuse though! My computer, which my dad kindly built for me in the dinosaur ages (about the time I went to college, I believe), is beginning to show its age. When I try to draw in photoshop, my computer often protests. For example, I'll try to draw a curved line. Photoshop will disagree that I want to draw a curved line, and it will "fix" my drawing by rending that line as a straight line across the page. So there's that.

Well, rest assured Past Dani, I am working hard (sometimes) to continue my journey towards internet fame. Who knows? If I work hard enough, I might even get three thousand hits by next year! And then the sky's the limit!

Or maybe not. I mean, I heard it's hard to breathe up in those higher altitudes. We'll see.

This being pregnant thing is exhausting.

Or it could be the voluntary overtime hours that I'm allowed to work this month. In any case, I've been very lucky to be sleeping soundly through the night.

I'm at about 23 weeks and 2 days which is soundly past the halfway mark, even if I go overdue (please don't let that be the case). I have moments of being nervous but somehow manage to realize that taking it one day at a time is the best way to avoid stressing out. Also, I've had to get over the disappointment that I can no longer burst into song when someone asks how far along I am.

So far it seems like heartburn is my biggest complaint. I don't particularly enjoy feeling my esophagus being bathed in acid, especially when I don't eat spicy food to begin with. However, heartburn has shown me that where this is a will, there is a way and even drinking a cup of water can trigger that horrible burn.

In other news, my dad has updated my status from "pregnant with hamster" to "pregnant with 'the creature from Alien'". I'm, uh, thrilled.

20 Weeks and Kicking!

Today marks my arbitrary "halfway" point on the pregnancy. Yes, now I am humming "Living on a Prayer" and with a little luck, it's now stuck in your head and what can you do about it? The truth is, I could have secretly passed my halfway point as much as a week ago, or might not have even witnessed it yet. A due date is more like a suggestion and one thing I'm not excited about is the four week period during which it is possible for me to go into labor.

(Well, it's POSSIBLE for me to go into labor at any point, but I'm speaking about a healthy, full term pregnancy.)

One thing that helps to calm me down is to read everything about pregnancy and labor. I think I've read at least 100 birth stories so far and seen two documentaries. Yeah, some of the stuff freaked me out, but in the end, I prefer to know what could happen than to deal with it out of the blue.

For example, if there's any chance that I might need a c-section, I'd rather read about scenarios where that it could happen, and why, and be prepared. Or if there's a chance that I could actually be carrying not a child but a demon overlord from a faraway planet, I like to know what to expect from that too.

All in all, I think that Smiley and I are trying to go along with this pregnancy with a solid dose of humor and the occasional serious talk of "holy crap-cakes, college is expensive and we want to have another kid later on and how will that work out?!"

Now, personally, I feel like I've been showing since about, oh, 10 weeks or so, but my coworkers assure me that they only really noticed it today. I guess I just dress really well? Because let me assure you that underneath my calm exterior of clothing, I am kind of freaking out about how my belly button is moving towards "outtie" status and how I can't wear skirts and pants that used to be a little big on me. I expect that is normal and don't dwell on it for long, but there's something super weird about putting on one of my favorite dresses and realizing that it now hangs and hits all the wrong places.

Oh and also there are the near constant bathroom trips.

I often think about my life in shifts and break things down into whatever unit works best. In this case, it's imagining that I've just dealt with pregnancy for 20 weeks and I have to do that all over again. Except for that kind of bums me out.

And did you know that the first two weeks of pregnancy don't even count? You're not even pregnant, in any way. Science lesson (skip if sperm and eggs bore or disgust you): The first two weeks of pregnancy are added in once the egg meets the sperm and implants, roughly two weeks from your last period. Due dates calculated this way are somewhat arbitrary because contrary to what you might believe, you do not necessarily become pregnant the moment you, uh, introduce sperm to the party. The sperm can actually chill out for up to three days waiting for an egg to be released and then once they meet up, it can take as long as a week more before they implant and begin the pregnancy. Which, I don't know, maybe everyone in the world already knew that, but I didn't. I was really fascinated to learn all of that.

Anyhow, some bad things that have happened include heartburn and an intense craving for steak. Luckily, the steak cravings seem to have subsided for now. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never, ever wanted a stupid hulking piece of meat before. I like cheeseburgers where the bun to toppings to burger ratio is well in favor of the bun and toppings.

Some good things include an overwhelming excitement to be able to have my first child and to watch and experience the difference between how I think I will parent and reality. Tiny clothing is a plus. The fact that our hypothetically other children will have a big brother is also a plus. The fact that, if this baby is anything like his father, I'll have to start hiding all of our electronics lest I want to find them taken apart.

Well that's enough baby rambling for today. Arbitrarily halfway there or not, I do feel like I'm starting on the second half of an experience I'm psyched to be having.